Tuesday 18 March 2014

University Feels #2

Hey guys, Maddie here! This post is going to my University Feels chapter 2. You can read my first university post here.

I've only been at university for just over two weeks but I'm already feeling stressed, confused, lost and a little crazy (well more than usual anyway). I've been thinking for the past few days about university and all the wonderful opportunities everyone can gain from attending and all the 'life-long' friends you are supposedly going to make during your time there but what if it's just not for me? 

As a student that isn't sure what I'm going to do with my life (I'm only seventeen, we shouldn't have to make these decisions now!) I'm not really coping with majority of the people in my courses knowing exactly what they want to do and how they are going to go about becoming successful in their chosen career path. I feel very left behind and I know it's a silly thing to get all emotional over but it's just how I feel. I realise many people my age and older must feel like this and I'm stressing over how they're dealing with it and how I should deal with it which is ridiculous because I've already got enough to stress about! What if I end up deciding to do something that I hate? What if become part of the statistics and live an average, non-exciting life? What if I have a desk job that I hate, working with people that I hate for a company that I hate? These thoughts are constantly swirling through my head and it's getting incredibly annoying! I also can't imagine myself doing anything particularly exciting. My hobbies aren't exactly something you can build a career out of (unless you are incredibly talented and very, very lucky) so I can't even use those to help me choose a path to take in life.

Along with this, I'm also having trouble making friends at university. I knew it was going to be difficult, if the past two years of my life  had been any indication, but a lot of people in my courses already know each other or have met their friends mutual friends when they have classes or tutorials together. It's all quite lonely (not just for me though, I'm sure). 

My laziness is also becoming a very apparent problem since starting university. I only seem to do the required work for my courses and I won't bother doing any extra work or making something perfect like I would have during high school. I'm terrible at managing my own time and can't get myself motivated to do any work. I think the only way to start motivating myself is to tell myself that I only have to do this course for one year or that after one year I can finally have my scoliosis surgery or I can change my course if I'm still not enjoying myself or that I can leave university and try something else out if I really want to. 

Which leads me onto my next point. University isn't not the be all and end all, though many people are not aware of this. My first high school basically told me that the only way to be successful after school is to get an OP and graduate from uni. My second high school told me otherwise. You can do so much without going to university and no one is actually going to look down on you or judge you if you don't go. Obviously, there are a lot of career paths that require you to complete university but there are still so many things a person can do with their life that don't require you to graduate. University is not for everyone, some know this before even having to attend and others find out along the way, but hopefully we will find out eventually. 

All in all I just wanted this post to be a sort of venting post for me. I'm sure it doesn't make much sense but I'm quite certain many of you will be able to relate to me and how I feel right now.

Thanks for reading!
Love from Maddie xx

12 comments:

  1. I hope you manage to figure out and attain all you want in life and more, Maddie!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You'll figure it all out dude, just gotta heaps trying :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Felt exactly the same way my first semester Maddie. I ended up taking time off and came back actually wanting to be there. Not alone in this confusing transition to 'adulthood' :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comment Isabelle! I have a feeling I will end up taking time off too! What were you studying and what are you studying now? xx

      Delete
    2. Definitely don't be afraid to take the time needed to figure out what you want, because there is plenty of time! I did a dual Journalism/Arts degree majoring in International Relations (bah). I kept the Journalism part, and came to love it, and changed my Arts major to Writing and Lit - suits me so much more! Should plan a coffee date with the other Uq Topshop girls! xx

      Delete
    3. Oooh! Your courses sound interesting! I think I will end up having some time off to think about what I want to do/where I want to go etc. We really should! That would be fantastic xx

      Delete
  4. I'm sorry you're having a hard time but one bit of advice I can give you from my own experience is try not to compare your experience to anyone else's, whether they're your friends or complete strangers! You are your own person and will handle and see things differently. I really truly do hope this works out for you

    N x
    natoodle.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your comment Natasha! I know I shouldn't compare my experience but I just can't help myself! Thank you so much, this was such a kind comment xx

      Delete
  5. Lots of people talk about college and the "life-long" friends you are supposed to meet. In fact, I remember that being one of the "selling points" when my aunties/cousins/Mom/Mom's friends would gush about their college experiences. "The friends you meet in college will be your best friends for life! I met all my bridesmaids at university! College = friendship!!!"

    I was also only 17 when I graduated high school/started college. I remember thinking similar things- how am I supposed to pick my life path as a teenager? I have no life experience! I've only had one job! HALP! Overwhelmed!

    All I can say is- be introspective, but try not to over-think things. Be _completely_ okay with your life path being different from most of your peers. You are special, you have deep thoughts, you have a strong voice. Most people are okay with blindly reproducing society values, contrary to what they might say. Finding your passions comes from investing in things you are passionate about. Devote your energies to things that you love, and even if you don't love them forever- it's okay! Constantly immersing yourself in things/people/studies that inspire your soul will help you navigate the confusing waters of this time in your life. <3

    Thank you for sharing your feels, Maddie! I love you and can't wait to read more. <3 <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. College=friendship was such a selling point for me too Jenny! Thank you so much for your comment Jenny (as always!) your comments are often the ones that keep me calm and level-headed. Thank you for your thoughts! xx

      Delete